“If you were stronger you would get over this.”
“No one wants to hear you crying all the time and talking about how awful your life is. You think you have problems? You haven’t dealt with nearly as much as me. Suck it up.”
How many times do we hear statements like these? In our families and communities it is common to believe that depression is a weakness or a character flaw that should be hidden away from the public eye. We view depression as a problem to be solved rather than an illness to be treated. Instead of supplying the resources young people need to express their emotional pain, we ask for them to be silent and to stop causing us stress.
One of the biggest barriers to seeking help for ourselves and our children is thinking we will be judged, excluded, or viewed differently. The only way to change how we respond to those with depression is to challenge our assumptions about what depression really is and actually talk about it openly. Parents are role models for their children and when parents change the message about what it means to be depressed, they change the message for generations to come. Because it’s so important to look at depression differently, here’s how you can start:
Depression is no different than any physical illness. The medical community recognizes it as a disease - one that can impact your physical health and can lead to self harm and suicidal thoughts or behaviors. Here are ways to challenge the idea that depression = weakness.
Ways to Challenge the Idea That Depression = Weakness
- No one chooses to be depressed, just like no one chooses to have any other health condition. People with depression cannot just “snap out of” their depression any more than someone with diabetes can. It is not a sign of weakness or laziness to be depressed.
- Depression is a real and serious condition. It is not much different than a chronic health condition in its ability to impact someone’s life. It can have both emotional and physical symptoms and make life very difficult for those who have it. The medical community has acknowledged the seriousness of depression and recognizes it as a disease. Although we are not completely certain what causes depression, we know that genetic and biological factors play a significant role. We also know it can be lethal. Depression-related suicide is a leading cause of death among children and teens.
- Depression can affect anyone including professional athletes, musicians, actors, lawyers, businessmen, writers, teachers, people in the military and even children. Being depressed has nothing to do with personal weakness. Some of the strongest people are people who’ve coped with depression in their lives.
- Having a mental disorder doesn’t mean you’re “crazy.” What it does mean is that there is an illness that is affecting your brain and you are likely less in control of how you want to live your life. Left unaddressed, any mental disorder including depression can cause a person significant distress and problems in their relationships and life.
- It takes strength to fight depression!
If someone is depressed, it takes tremendous strength to talk about it and get help. Increasing our acceptance and showing encouragement to those who take this step can go a long way. Support is crucial if you or a loved one is depressed or contemplating suicide. Please know that there is help. Depression is treatable and there are many effective treatment options that will meet needs. If you or your child need immediate help due to having suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or text the Crisis Text Line by texting "START" to 741-741. If there is an immediate safety concern, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.