Bedtime Battles

Kids love attention and rewards (but let’s be honest, don’t we all?). So when it comes to getting them to get into bed and stay in bed long enough to fall asleep, we need to reward them for good or desired behavior (like staying in bed) and limit attention or ignore undesired behaviors (like leaving their room when they’re supposed to be trying to sleep).

Before Your Start

It’s not generally recommended to make significant sleep changes before a vacation or when a kid is sick.
A better time is when you don’t have an important thing to do the next couple of days (if you have a big presentation for work, or will be working doubles or switch shift, it might not be the best time to start).
Consistency is key. It’s better to find a time when you can commit 2 weeks so that you can follow through on the plan rather than stopping and starting multiple times. It’s okay to decide that now isn’t the time to take this on.
Make sure you have a good reason for making the changes. When you are in the thick of it, this “why” will help you pull through if it gets tough. Remind yourself of the importance of sleep to your child’s overall health.

How do I reward them for doing well?

One way to manage this challenge in preschool-aged kids is to say goodnight, leave the room, and then pop back in after a short period of time and give another round of hugs and kisses and say something like, “I’m so happy that you stayed in bed and tried to fall asleep.”

Leave the room again and repeat this until the child is asleep.
Gradually increase the time you are away. For example, start by leaving two minutes every night for 3-5 nights. When you’re having success, you can then increase to five minutes for several nights, then eight minutes, and so on.

Another option is a simple sticker chart. In the morning, you can give a sticker if they stayed in bed the night before.
- They can then earn a small reward if they get two stickers in one week.
- Over time, you can make it harder: three stickers in a week, four, etc. You want to start small so they feel successful and motivated! Download our sample reward chart below.

Bedtime Passes

Using bedtime passes is another good option for children over age 3 who keep “curtain calling” (leaving room for another hug, to get a drink, to get a snack, to use the bathroom, etc.).
Depending on how often your child is leaving their bedroom, you can start with 3 or 4 bedtime passes each night. Be sure to explain to your child what the passes are and how to use them.

They will get so many passes and they can only get out of bed if they have a pass to use.
They’ll need to turn in their pass, do their task quickly and go back to bed.
If they still have passes left in the morning, they will get something special.

When the child gets up from bed allow them to do what they need to quickly (2-5 minutes), take the pass, and send back to bed.
If they are out of passes, send them back to bed with little attention.
Download our bedtime pass to try it out.

When they want a caregiver in the room

If you’ve gotten into the habit of staying in the room while your child falls asleep, it can feel hard to change things. But it is possible to adjust!

After you tuck your child in, come up with some reason to leave the room for a few minutes (or even seconds). You could say something like, “I’ll be right back, I forgot to start the laundry, stay in your bed and try to fall asleep and I'll be right back.” Then come right back and give lots of attention and praise for staying in bed and trying to fall asleep.

Leave the room again and repeat this until the child is asleep as you gradually increase the time you are away. For example, start by leaving for two minutes, then increase to five minutes, then eight minutes, and so on.

Another option is to gradually remove yourself out of the room. You will start by laying with your child, or holding your child, until they fall asleep for about three nights.

Then sit on the bed for another three nights. Then sit next to the bed, then sit further away from the bed, and so on until you are out of the room.
Be sure that it is still quiet time and limit time talking or answering questions as much as you can.

Cry it out is another option that may be the hardest to tolerate but it often takes the least time if you can do it. After you tuck him in and say goodnight, leave the room, and do not come back in unless you are worried about his health or safety. This means ignore all crying, tantrums, or fussing. Remember ignoring means no talking, no touching, and no eye contact/looking.

Helping your child get into good sleep habits is going to be a good thing for them and for your whole family. Keep up the good work!

HOW-TO GUIDES

febrero 2023